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Happy Thanksgiving...dont read....kinda long

Posted on 2006.11.23 at 12:25
Current Music: Adam Sandler "Forgetful Lucy"
Its ironic that my last post was about Halloween and now its thanksgiving today (or tonight...whatever your preference).
For those of you who didnt hear about my tournament, I did extremely well. The week before the tournament i was feeling pretty down on myself. It was just one of those times nothing was going to make me happy except myself wanting to be...which apparently i wasnt allowing. I guess it was effecting me at work. Master Castro and my father began to notice it and even gave me this fauxphicated speech of...what i didnt feel was neccesary. It damn near angered me hearing them. I just wanted to be left alone...I was being a little moody.I understand the concern and advice they shared...well they were just trying to help me. Then in one swoop, the tournament day came I was excited and Nervous....especially after seeing my competition. One guy much taller and pretty well built just warmed up in spilts....and im thinking...dammit i cant do that. I sat for hours...waiting and anticipating and even scaring myself. Then finally they gathered the young adults....I beleive a little more than 12 of us and gave us this speech saying how we were the future of Taekwondo....It was really inspiring...just telling us to go out there and do it for entertainment...i mean all of them were out there to see us especially. Do the fight with honor as well....we're leading those little kids to a future with the possibility of competing in the Olympics...even helping ourselves...Basically it got me all pumped up. I felt so much respect for my opponents and didnt give up. I gave it what i had. I got second place. It made me happy. So afterwards it was gone....the feeling of despair and ....all of it that was making me down. It was amazing. This is something i wrote earlier about it

My friend Kevin and I were speaking of something that got pretty deep. A week had gone by and ....yea i was feeling pretty shitty. Then all of a sudden that spark that doing something i loved arose me from that stupid mood....no solid nor valid reason for why i felt that why....guess we all get like that sometimes.

It's not easy to settle for a life of quiet desperation and end it. Shakespeare's Hamlet said it best, "To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them..."

Many souls tread water in that sea of troubles.I myself for example have that constant ....and some will succumb and sink beneath the waves and the thunder. But even as they slip into the darkness a voice cries out.

The Constant Reminder.....We aren't alone. You aren't alone

The world can be a very cold place. And it may seem as though we struggle alone in those dark waters. My best friend once said the light shines in the darkness, but the darkness comprehends it not.

How can darkness not comprehend light?

In order for darkness to exist there must be no light. And the moment a light shines the darkness vanishes and with it our fears which grow there.

So where is this light?

The light burns bright in all of us, but sometimes it needs to be rekindled. Hence Good and Evil is aloud to exist. If Happiness was aloud only....what the hell would be the point in living? It makes you thankful....makes you cherish the things that really matter.....Love...Life....Family....Friends....everything.

I hope that you will not abandon that light and by spreading it, "become the change you seek in the world." – Ghandi

ahem....Yeah ive been doing alot of thinking late...Thinking about How family comes first, How much my friends really mean to me. How I really do appreciate the things that I have....
and i think about time....Would i think about this if i was born in an earlier decade.....i mean the 50's the most important thing was that you had sophistication...so would i be too vain?....the 60s it was freedom would i be mixed up with war?70s was independence, would i be political?80s was power, would...i be greedy or powerhungry? 90s was expression, would i be too wrapped up in worry of being self concious?

Sometimes You're Ahead....sometimes you're behind....in thee end, you're only racing yourself

Time to eat the turkey.


ashley douche
_ashleybot at 2006-11-23 21:38 (UTC) (Link)
add me backkk
no_idratherdie at 2006-11-25 20:21 (UTC) (Link)
awwwh raleigh I know you're
going in the right direction with
life though, you've got those
kids looking up to you, and
martial arts! I hope life will
bring you more happiness before
the year ends. you deserve it.
simplicity_of_u at 2006-11-26 23:55 (UTC) (Link)
I really appreciate that.=)
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