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Posted on 2006.11.06 at 23:01
Current Mood: gloomygloomy
Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie "Forbidden Love"
Just Close your eyes....and dont believe

Ive exprienced alot this past halloween weekend. How crazy the mind of a woman works.
I found out from this girl that her best friend ,who i have been constantly hanging out with, had feelings for me. I kinda laughed hearing it..."oh thats cool....shes makin out with some guy". Then it was followed up by the girl telling me this that she wanted to kiss me.....Well i would never put myself in that position to where best friends would be hating eachother over me....plus....i didnt feel ready to put another girl through my own personal pain that i still am having problems with.On top of that....saw someone and their fiance wow lol...that was crazy....annnnd i saw my crazy cousin.

Trying to forget someone you loved is like trying to remember someone you never knew

Well....Recently ive been talking to my ex...i guess she always crosses my mind...It sucks dealing with the fact that we miss eachother....but its ok in a sense just because we thoroughly enjoy one anothers company...even by phone. She hears my problems....like she always has....and I did the same for her....ah the revival of old feelings...hurts...and i truly miss it....


It feels good to let this sadness go here....

i wanna catch myself a death of cold, but im scaring of growing old alone

Your oceans a drop of water

Posted on 2006.10.27 at 00:16
Current Music: Secrets to a salesman Rocky
An idea popped into my head. I want to write a book about it

A year to wait.

Posted on 2006.10.11 at 15:01
Im terrible at updates.

Well i had my first tournament this past weekend and yes i did lose. Not 1st round though (yay). I had to face some 6'4 skinny long-legged black guy named barry. Boy did my lip hurt. He caught me with 2 hook kicks that planted me on the floor. Yes ouch....afterwards i went to some party and met a bunch of folks. Its amazing to me still how alcolhol just rids of nervousness between a bunch of people. All in all it was fun to say the least. Lately Ive basically been busy with work teaching and all. Ive finally have gotten a Training Partner so we both can be prepared for tournaments. My best friend Kevin is movin in with me also.Im goin car shoppin pretty soon...thats basically it

Dreaming

Posted on 2006.08.18 at 12:49
Current Music: Hans Zimmer "Honor Him"
When you don't want to feel... death can seem like a dream. But, seeing death ... really seeing it... makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous.

Ive been a little worked up to find out that someone i use to work with died in an accident driving home. That has got to be the worst feeling in the world...."Mom....Im coming home"....but then to not. Now i never really was that close to Natasha but I had to admit she definitely did spark my interest. She was Sweet,young,very beautiful, and kind. She was the first person to approach me and introduce herself when i had started working at tommy years before. Then to run into her every once in a blue moon at the Food Court when i worked at Express. I guess Im more worked up to find her life was going great for her and in an instant, she was crushed. Im a little more fearful of death i guess. We're so frail....considered so strong how strong are we really? Simultaneously shit happens and now we're stuck to endure something we have no choice in. Is there really some sort of beauty that i cant comprehend inside of that. How much of our life is really passed through a screen?Whos watching us? Who really cares?They say the key to Immortality is living a life worth being remembered. How do you know you did?How immortal are you to live one life but only be a memory?
I guess im done asking questions for now. Oh i wrote a poem.....a little somber(as eddie said) but i think i explain a point

I wish i didnt sleep.
That way i would never dream
that way i would do more with time
answer all the silly questions that boggle your mind
Come up with crazy ideas
intelligent ones but silly ones
Id sing more
Id work more
Id play more
Id give more

and Ill never dream

of you

Posted on 2006.08.14 at 14:12
Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: Denez Prigent "Gortoz A Ran"
Wow.....It has been awhile. Figured I should give an update on my life upon here.
-Im Currently a Taekwondo,Hapikido,and Shotokan instructor for children and I absolutely love the job being the fact of kids and also i get to keep in shape.
-I have also recently been taking Swing Dancing Lessons.
-Hunting for a morning job.(Not fun)
-I wrote an Article about Martial Arts and Mr. Castro said i should publish this around. Share my views about it

Basically i was sitting upon the computer earlier today once again watching the UFC legend Royce Gracie step into the octagon to face welterweight champ Matt Hughes(might i add hes one of my favorite athletes in the sport).As I watched, I couldnt help but think how far the mixed Martial arts have come since the sport debuted in the US when i was much younger.

Now let me add, Gracie is credited with starting it all when he triumphed in the UFC 1 in 93', then went on to dominate 2,3,4, and 5. He retired with i guess the record of 12-1. Through those battles, He single-handedly brought the art of Brazilian Jujutsu along with it the Gracie name to Mainstream. A huge misconception however, is that the Gracies invented jujutsu which if you're lacking a history lesson, they didnt.... The Japanese created it centuries ago along with Karate and Aikido. The Gracies basically modified it into a more efficient system for self defense and sport fighting.

In the early years of UFC, fighters weren't as diverse as they are today. It was basically in the beginning putting two animals in a case watching fight for survival. As a result, Brazilian Jujutsu dominated. But as the sport evolved, Strikers learned to sprawl and avoid the takedown and boxers learned more to wrestle,and they began to win against pure ground fighters. Eventually, Fighters learned they needed a complete skill set to win, and the pendelum swung back to the center. After all, the name "Mixed Martial Arts" implies that no one system,style, strategy or tatic is fundamentally superior to all others. Prime example, you know boxing and kickboxing does not mean you will defeat me standing. Basically success requires a variety of skills that allow the fighter to handle a broad spectrum of situations.

Honestly Hughes is a poster boy for such diversity. one of the reason he wins consistently is he excels at almost everything. but his real strength lies in his ability to do whatever it takes to win. Hes proved that by building a 41-4-0 record.If there was doubt, The Gracie 1st round defeat eliminated it.

Now like many other established arts ,jujutsu has its outspoken hard-core practitioners who profess the superiority of their system. But as MMA is demonstrating, there isnt an ultimate fighting art, and no system or person has a monopoly on the truth of combat. The reason is simple:The Martial arts are practiced by imperfect human beings whose performance depends on their experience, training, intelligence, physical ability, body type, age, fitness, and pshycology.

Its ultimately people who fight not systems. Its never style vs. style. It is always man vs. man. No matter how perfect a system may be in theory, the people practicing are always flawed. Until we're able to create 2 human beings through clones or something, then train em in diferent arts and pit them against one another in a controlled enviroment to fairly test each style, the Human factor will be the most critical component in interpersonal combat.

One reality i noticed is that Hughes was stronger,quicker,better trained, and younger while Gracie had that one track approach. Much like nature, the younger,faster,stronger lions usually dominate older and weaker ones. Armed that younger lion is MMA skills, hes deadly.

Another factor that weighs heavily in any combative event is the dynamics of position and situation. That means what you may or may not be able to do is based on position and situation. An example would be if you're on the ground, and you're opponent gets you're back, you have a limited number of techniques and options available,especially in sport fighting(Its like math or chess). You need technical and tactical solutions designed for that situation. If you dont have em, you probably lose regardless of the other abilities and attributes you possess. In UFC, the worse could happen is you getting submitted or knocked out....minor injury but one the street, you could get killed.

Theres an ebb and flow of positions and situations that could bring you down in the blink of an eye. A foot in any direction, a moments hesitation, a single slip....each could change the situation...much like life haha.Any way what im getting at is 2 facts Bruce Lee also got at. Diversity and Adaptability. A must to have diverse skill to adapt to whatever may come.


Great night

Posted on 2006.05.21 at 17:18
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: The Format "First Single"
Lets just say this job is a little stressful but no complaints being the fact i get paid awfully well. I am the youngest here therefore i feel like im looked down upon. I type awfully faster than them(being the fact im on the computer alot), Im resourceful, rational, and awfully good at math. I hate being judged before im even given the opportunity to be a big help.
Other than that, Im content without a love-life.... I mean i have recently been talking to a 22 year old woman named Fawn. Shes amazing. Shes very chill and enjoys my goofiness more than anything. Im glad to say im back in contact with my first love Gordo. Shes with a guy named Anthony shes been dating for a year and hes crazy about her. She definitely deserves that. Also i have cut all ties with Erimm. I still think about how do you come into someones life, Tell him you love them,lie to him,hurt him,leave him for some other guy, call him while still with the other guy saying you miss him, come back and tell him you love him, then hurt him again. Well what once was....once was and Im glad shes gone. I loved her for her heart and Not her soul.
So last night was an amazing time. Jon left while i was work to head back to AZ. I really am gonna miss that guy. I wont be able to see him till the end of the summer since hes gonna be at camp. Kevin...leavin for South Carolina in a week! My best friend....gone. Words cant describe how much that guy means to me. He sheded one tear the other night just because i said "Thanks for always being there"....kind of sentimental.So last night ended with.....wow......so much intervenous drug use and unprotected sex.....while taking the lords name in vain...

just kiddin. Kevin,Johnnyboy,Dannyboi,Danmar,and I went to go see Karen. I missed that gal. I really did.soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. Shes such a great person and i dont think shes aware of it. Ironically enough, her bf knew this gal i worked with at Tommy Hilfiger and i knew her bf from a party.....which leaves the floor to say Its a small world. Afterwards we headed to Beauty Bar and wished Brooke(Dan's 2nd Wife....or whatever that means lol) a happy bday and met some cool happenin ppl. Danced it up, drank, and ate afterwards...greatest memories are the ones that you walk out 5 or 6 in the mornin and say "what a great night"

Last night

Posted on 2006.05.10 at 10:33
Hung out with Kevin,Abe,Fawn,and Tiff. Had a couple drinks and made alot of talk.Played a couple card games....had alot of fun with just a few good friends. Wow....what was most amazing was the conversation Andrew and i had. That man and i never talk. thats the first time i actually well bonded with the guy.

Posted on 2006.04.30 at 15:11
So i made a foolish choice last night. I decided i should see her(Erimm) being that shes back in town for awhile. I had that feeling i would regret it if i didnt see her so maybe i should risk the hurt. It was nice honestly....
besides the fact she was inebriated.
I didnt have a sip of alcohol....which im kind of proud of=)
Its really hard to explain that night.
I mean our conversations were vauge. It was rather that we enjoyed being around eachother but didnt know what to exactly say....i dunno...she cant even fathom how much i really love her.
then to find out later in the morning shes leaving to go hang out with someone else...yea i was pretty angered. I dont know....what am i doing to myself

Posted on 2006.04.23 at 04:12
whats left to lose, youve done enough
and if you fail ...well then you fail
but not to us cause these last three years
, i know theyve been hard
but now its time to get
out of the desert and into the sun
.....even if its alone

Posted on 2006.04.14 at 06:52
You found a new love now
...he is your type....
No need to pause now child..
i have to say goodbye
I heard things were better now
with your wonderful life..
Your life is so perfect now
....and mine....just died

do you miss me when im feeling sad
i called your friends to see what you have said
tonight its the weekend....go have fun
tonight its the weekend you never loved me at all
at all
at all
at all


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